Home >  Blog >  Writer's Blog: Issue 5

Writer's Blog: Issue 5

Posted by Gleeson College on 24 November 2021
Writer's Blog: Issue 5

This week's creative writing task is an example of a text transformation. Jacob Trimboli (Year 10) transformed the well known Aesop's fable The Tortoise and the Hare into a sports commentary, imagining how this race would be broadcast in a televised event. Transformation involves the use of intertextual links, language features and conventions to imagine a text for a new purpose and audience. I'm sure you will enjoy Jacob's creative retelling of the classic tale.

- Mrs McCarthy

#thetortoiseandthehare #sportscommentary #texttransformation #acceleratedenglish #yeahnah



The Tortoise and the Hare – Sports Commentary 


Bruce: Welcome folks to today’s event … brought to you by Aesop’s Library, all your favourite fables in the one place. It’s a beautiful day down at the Forest Racecourse and we’ve got one for the ages today, Brian.  

Brian: We certainly do Bruce, there hasn’t been an event like this since the ants upset the grasshopper . A real David and Goliath tale, it’s the Hare versing the Tortoise , I know who I’ve got my money on. 

Bruce: Interesting matchup today, the Hare weighing in at 4kg and 63cm tall. Known to be the fastest animal in the forest, he’s got speed, agility, he hasn’t lost a race to date, coming in as red-hot favourite today. 

Brian: He’s gonna be tough to beat Bruce.  

Bruce: He sure will Brian, especially for the tortoise. Weighing in at 227kg and 81cm, he’s the slowest animal in the forest and this is going to be his debut amateur race.

Brian: This could get ugly …  


“On your marks - Get Set” *BANG* 


Bruce: And the hare off to a great start, he has flown by like an arrow. 

Brian: And the tortoise, the tortoise… is walking. Bruce, we could be here for a while. 

Bruce: The hare going well, going really well, he is on track to set a new record. Interesting fact Brian the current record was also set by the hare himself. 

Brian: Let's go now to Chris, our correspondent at the track, how’s it looking down there? 

Chris: I have absolutely no sight of the tortoise lads, but the hare has just passed me, WOW that was quick. 

Bruce: He’s currently travelling at 70km/h, that is a record pace. 

Brian: And the tortoise *sigh*, the tortoise is moving at 2km/h. 

Bruce: The tortoise is still trudging away, there is no denying he is putting in a good effort today. 

Brian: Yeah, but it would be good if he trudged a bit quicker, I’d like to make it home in time for dinner tonight.  

Bruce: The tortoise has made some ground; he has just made it over the hill. But it looks like the hare is pulling away again, he’s not mucking around Brian.

Brian: This could be over pretty quickly, Bruce.

Bruce: There’s about 400m to go for the hare, this has been an absolute smashing of the tortoise.  

Brian: Can’t say it’s come as a surpri- 

Bruce: -Sorry to cut you off there Brian but it appears the hare has gone down, Chris what’s happening down there? 

Chris: Well Bruce, I can confirm there is no sign of injury, the hare is, well, he’s sleeping. 

Bruce: Sleeping?! 

Brian: This is unbelievable, some of us have lives outside of commentary you know.  

Chris: With the tortoise still not in sight, the hare has decided to take a nap under a nearby tree. It’s a bold tactic lads, let’s see if it pays off.  

Bruce: Wow, well we have never seen this before, we’re going to cut to a short ad break, but we’ll be back shortly, with more scintillating action from today’s race. 


  • After an hour Ad Break  


Brian: Bruce it’s been an hour, the hare is still asleep, and this race is still going, I’m almost about to fall asleep myself.  

Brian: Just hold your horses there Bruce. The tortoise has passed the hare! Chris, are you there? 

Chris: Yes, lads, the turtle is about 50 meters away from the finish line! The atmosphere down here is incredible, it’s so loud the hare has woken up! 

Brian: I can’t believe what I am seeing! The hare is making ground, the tortoise is walking his heart out! 

Bruce: Its close, its reallyyy close, they’ve crossed the line and it’s the tortoise by a hair ! 

Chris: Guys I am here with the tortoise, mate congratulations, that was a fantastic race, how are you feeling?  

Tortoise: Yeah, nah, it feels good Chris.  

Chris: Right… what was your plan to beat the hare today?  

Tortoise: You know I just took it one step and a time, yeah nah, yeah , my game plan was just slow and steady, Chris . 

Chris: Well, thank you for your time and congratulations


Bruce: Well, we’ve have seen it all today, can’t wait for next week’s action when the frogs take on the ox . Thanks to Aesop’s Library, all your favourite fables in the one place, we’ll see you next time.  


Author:Gleeson College